Resources to Guide You Through Separation, Healing, and Reclamation
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Divorce Checklist – What to Expect at Each Stage
What to Gather Before You Go – Documents, accounts, and essentials
Questions to Ask an Attorney – Even in a free consultation
Digital Safety & Spyware Awareness Checklist – For tech protection
Safety Planning Tools – For secure transitions and emergencies -
Documentation Strategies – Practical tools and best practices for creating court-ready records.
Communication Templates – Scripts and sample language to navigate high-conflict co-parenting conversations.
Incident & Documentation Tracker – A simple template to log incidents, threats, and patterns for legal preparation.
Building Your Best Custody Case – A reflective guide to strengthen your parenting presentation in court.
Co-Parenting Under a Microscope – Guidance for navigating custody cases and parenting evaluations.
Communicating with a High-Conflict Co-Parent – Step-by-step techniques and boundaries to reduce escalation.
Parenting with a High-Conflict Co-Parent – Practical strategies to support your child and protect your peace.
Radical Acceptance & The Road Through Divorce – A compassionate guide to finding steadiness and healing in the midst of change.
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Saving Grace
24/7 Helpline: 541‑389‑7021
Services: shelter, counseling, advocacy, safety planning
Oregon Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence
Statewide directory for shelters, legal aid, and advocacy
National Domestic Violence Hotline
National 24/7 support: 1‑800‑799‑SAFE (7233) or text BEGIN to 88788 -
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Drishti Mental Health – Offers trauma counseling with EMDR and Brainspotting, specifically including support for divorce, emotional abuse, and controlling relationships.
Broken Top Counseling – Specializes in trauma therapy using CBT and EMDR.
Bend Somatic Counseling – Offers somatic and brainspotting therapy for stress and trauma.
BCB Therapy – Offers biofeedback therapy for stress and trauma.
Mirror Pond Counseling – Dedicated to healing trauma through brain-based counseling and integrated psychotherapy.
Books to Guide You Through Separation, Healing, and Reclamation
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📘 Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha — by Tara Brach
A compassionate guide to befriending yourself through trauma, grief, and uncertainty.
📗 A Gentle Reminder — by Bianca Sparacino
Beautifully written poetic truths for the woman learning to reclaim her worth and softness.
📙 The Gifts of Imperfection — by Brené Brown
An invitation to let go of who you think you should be and embrace who you are with courage, compassion, and wholeheartedness. -
📗 Untamed — by Glennon Doyle
A call to stop abandoning yourself and reclaim your inner voice and wildness. Empowering, especially for women leaving harmful systems or relationships.
📘 The Journey from Abandonment to Healing — by Susan Anderson
A comprehensive guide to moving through the grief, self-doubt, and fear that come after rejection or loss.
📙 Codependent No More — by Melody Beattie
Classic and accessible guidance for women breaking free from people-pleasing and control dynamics.
📕 Women Who Run with the Wolves — by Clarissa Pinkola Estés
Archetypal stories and deep soul wisdom for rewilding your feminine power. -
📕 Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle — by Tina Swithin
Raw, empowering story and insights on navigating the legal system and emotional warfare of divorcing a narcissist.
📙 Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse — by Shannon Thomas
A structured, therapist-developed map through the emotional wreckage of covert abuse.
📘 Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men — by Lundy Bancroft
A clear, accessible look at the beliefs and patterns behind controlling and abusive behavior—and why changing yourself won’t change an abusive partner.
📗 It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People — by Ramani Durvasula
A validating guide to recognizing narcissistic patterns, understanding their impact, and beginning to reclaim yourself after harmful relationships.
📔 The Verbally Abusive Relationship — by Patricia Evans
A foundational guide to recognizing verbal and emotional abuse, trusting your own perceptions, and understanding dynamics that can otherwise be difficult to name. -
📘 Invisible Bruises: How a Better Understanding of the Patterns of Domestic Violence can Help Survivors Navigate the Legal System — by Kaytee Gillis
Clear, validating, and practical for identifying emotional and psychological abuse.
📕 The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free — by Julie L. Hall
A powerful look at how narcissistic abuse can shape your reality—and how to undo it.
📙 Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder — by Bill Eddy & Randi Kreger
A must-read for anyone dealing with high-conflict divorce or manipulative co-parents.
📗 BIFF for CoParent Communication — by Bill Eddy, Annette Burns & Kevin Chafin
A practical guide to keeping communication brief, informative, friendly, and firm when co-parenting with a high-conflict person. -
📘 The Parallel Parenting Solution — by Carl Knickerbocker
A practical guide to reducing conflict, creating firm boundaries, and disengaging from the impossible task of traditional co-parenting with a high-conflict ex.
📕 The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide — by Megan Hunter & Andrea LaRochelle
Practical strategies for managing triggers, reducing conflict, and protecting your peace while raising children with a high-conflict co-parent.
📗 Co-Parenting 101: Helping Your Kids Thrive in Two Households After Divorce — by Deesha Philyaw & Michael D. Thomas
A practical, hopeful guide to putting children first and building a healthy co-parenting relationship across two homes.
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📕 Rebirth Oracle Journal — by Natasha Bacca
A 44-prompt guided journal for reclaiming your voice, power, and peace after heartbreak or divorce.
📘 Rebirth Rituals: A Guide to Healing after Separation — by Natasha Bacca
30 guided rituals to release pain, reclaim power, and rise renewed. -
📘 The Body Keeps the Score — by Bessel van der Kolk
A bestselling, research-based breakdown of how trauma lives in the body—and how to release it.
📙 Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory — by Deb Dana
A gentle, practical guide to building internal safety and regulation in trauma recovery.
📕 Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma — by Peter Levine
The foundation of somatic trauma healing and nervous system restoration. -
📗 The Wild Edge of Sorrow — by Francis Weller
A poetic and soulful guide to embracing grief as a sacred part of healing.
📘 Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow — by Elizabth Lesser
A deeply moving blend of memoir and spiritual insight. Lesser guides readers through loss, heartbreak, and transformation with compassion and honesty. Perfect for those rebuilding after divorce or trauma and searching for meaning in the pain.
📙 Rise Sister Rise — by Rebecca Campbell
A call to spiritual awakening and sacred feminine reclamation after loss or identity fracture.
📕 When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times — by Pema Chödrön
A compassionate exploration of staying present through uncertainty, loss, and change—and discovering wisdom within the places that feel most difficult.
📔 The Book of Awakening — by Mark Nepo
A collection of reflections on presence, courage, loss, connection, and finding meaning in the everyday experience of being human. -
📕 Framed: Women in the Family Court Underworld — by Dr. Christine Cocchiola & Amy Polacko
A collection examining how coercive control and post-separation abuse can continue through family court systems.
📘 Click. Stalk. Destroy.: Inside the Minds of People Who Stalk Online — by Dr. Jessica Taylor
A powerful exploration of online stalking, digital harassment, and the psychology behind attempts to monitor, intimidate, and destroy someone from behind a screen.
📗 He Said, She Said: Truth, Trauma and the Struggle for Justice in Family Court —by Charlotte Proudman
A powerful examination of bias in the family court system and the ways survivors of abuse can be disbelieved, silenced, and left unprotected.
📙 Coercive Control in Children’s and Mothers’ Lives — by Emma Katz
A research-based examination of how coercive control impacts children and mothers before, during, and after separation—and why leaving does not necessarily end the abuse.
📔 The System Is the Weapon: How Abusive Fathers Exploit Family Courts Against Mothers and Children — by Natalie Page
An examination of how family courts can become tools of post-separation abuse and coercive control—and the systemic failures that can leave mothers and children unprotected.
I Got Soul Custody
A reminder that no one else gets to define your reality.
Designed by Natasha Bacca, I Got Soul Custody is a collection of quiet affirmations of your truth—everyday pieces you can wear, carry, and return to.
