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🌑✨ Blessed Samhain, beloved souls. ✨🌑 The veils are thin. Can you feel it? This is the time of year when Spirit whispers guidance, when intuition sharpens, and when our ancestors walk close beside us. Their collective hands hold us — lifting us up, supporting us. Their voices whisper in the quiet. Their courage beats in our chests. They are here — not to haunt us, but to hold us. To remind us that we come from a line of survivors, healers, warriors, dreamers, and women who refused to be silenced. So today I ask you: How will you honor those who came before you? Through reflection? Candlelight? Speaking their names? Through choosing the life they never had the chance to live? As one season turns and another begins, we honor the cycles of life — endings and beginnings, death and rebirth, shadow and light. And with that, I’m opening the doors to something sacred: 🔮 The Samhain Cohort of The Rebirth Course  If you’re in a season of transition — divorce, identity shift, career change, heartbreak, life re-visioning — this is your invitation to step forward. 👣 This course is a sanctuary. 🪷 A place to breathe again, remember who you are, and rise in your power. 🐦🔥 Over these coming weeks together, you will move through a journey to: ✨ Ground your nervous system and rebuild trust in yourself ✨ Reclaim your identity beyond roles and expectations ✨ Release the stories that no longer serve your becoming ✨ Rise into clarity, confidence, and self-devotion ✨ Restore your energy, boundaries, and sacred self-worth If your soul is whispering yes… trust it. 🕯️ Some doors are sacred — and they open in perfect alignment with your becoming. 🚪 If your heart is stirring — if you felt something move in your body as you read this — that’s your knowing. 💖 🌱 If finances are tender right now, reach out — there are alternative exchange pathways. 🐦🔥 Your rebirth deserves support. You do not have to do it alone. Let this be the season you step toward your rebirth — and rise! 💫 You don’t need to feel “ready.” You only need to feel called. 📅 We begin Monday, November 3rd. 💫 Book a session 💫 Join the Rebirth Course 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Deck 💫 Follow along on Instagram → @a_divorce_doula With love and deep gratitude to walk alongside you,
💖 Natasha Divorce Doula • Artist • Survivor • Advocate Certified High-Conflict Divorce Coach • Reiki Master • Educator
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 My smile is real. But it’s only a fragment of my story. It’s learned to take center stage—the part the world most easily accepts. As any survivor knows, not everyone can hear your story. Don’t stop sharing it. Just find the ones who can hold space for it. It’s been a wild week. More than two years after a crime was committed against me, the other party has finally been found guilty—not even found guilty, but pleaded guilty. Two years. In that time, I have been accused in court records more than a dozen times of being “vindictive,” “adversarial,” “high-conflict,” and more—simply for defending my rights and trying to hold the perpetrator accountable. I thought I would feel validated when justice came. Instead, I felt numb. My mind told me this was good news—proof that what I had endured was real. But my body didn’t believe it. My nervous system didn’t suddenly feel safe just because the words “guilty plea” were entered into the record. Violation—and the intense gaslighting, ongoing harassment, manipulation, and retaliation cloaked in legal filings and loopholes that followed for years—cannot be swept away with a single plea. Especially when that plea carries little consequence. At present, despite a guilty plea, there is no one who is prosecuting this crime. The perpetrator walks freely, living life as though nothing ever happened. I, meanwhile, am still carrying tens of thousands of dollars in debt for costs I had to incur to defend myself against the very acts that have now been admitted as crimes. And I carry other debts too—the ones no court can measure. The memories that live in my body, the nervous system that still braces for impact, the echoes that take time to quiet. That is all I will say, for now, about the incident itself. But I will say this: Healing doesn’t begin when justice is served—it begins when we choose to reclaim our power, even when the system fails to protect us. It took two years of standing in my truth—of holding my power, trusting my knowing, and staying rooted in my spiritual practice—before that truth was finally acknowledged. This moment isn’t just about a single win; it’s about the strength it takes to stand firm in what you know is right, even when others try to extinguish your light. Because this isn’t just my story—it’s one of countless others. Every time a survivor speaks, another crack forms in the silence that protects abusers and a system that so often looks the other way. This is why we need to keep telling our stories. I’ve walked this path—through disbelief and denial, through long nights of doubt and the small, steady steps back toward truth. And now, I walk beside other women as they find their way through the darkness too—reminding them that healing is possible, justice can take many forms, and their voice matters. ✨ If this story resonates with you, share it. Speak your truth. Or reach out if you need a hand finding your way forward—you don’t have to walk this alone. 🫶 💫 Book a session 💫 Join the Rebirth Course 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Deck 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Journal 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Prints 💫 Explore the Rebirth Rituals 💫 Follow along on Instagram → @a_divorce_doula With love and deep gratitude to walk alongside you,
💖 Natasha Divorce Doula • Artist • Survivor • Advocate Certified High-Conflict Divorce Coach • Reiki Master • Educator Creating a sacred space is a way to honor your healing, your intuition, and your transformation. Whether you are using this space for ritual, meditation, journaling, or rest—it becomes a container for your presence and intention. WHY CREATE A SACRED SPACE?
WHAT YOU’LL NEED (Choose what resonates)
HOW TO SET IT UP
HOW TO USE IT This space is your sanctuary—a place to come home to yourself. Use it in ways that nourish your spirit, soothe your nervous system, and connect you with something deeper. Return here daily, or whenever you need to reconnect with yourself. There is no wrong way to use this space—only what feels true to you. Here are some ways to engage with your sacred space:
✨ Begin Your Own Ritual Practice My new book, Rebirth Rituals: A Guide to Healing After Separation, includes 30 guided rituals to support you through release, reclamation, restoration, rising, renewal, and reflection. Each practice comes with step-by-step guidance, supply suggestions, and journal prompts to help you ground, transform, and rise. 📖 How You Can Work With Rebirth Rituals
May these rituals be companions on your path, helping you reclaim your wholeness and step into your rebirth.
💫 Book a session 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Deck 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Journal 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Prints 💫 Explore the Rebirth Rituals 💫 Follow along on Instagram → @a_divorce_doula With love and deep gratitude to walk alongside you,
💖 Natasha Divorce Doula • Artist • Survivor • Advocate Certified High-Conflict Divorce Coach • Reiki Master • Educator Divorce recovery isn’t a straight line — it’s full of unexpected moments that can bring up grief, fear, or overwhelm. Rituals can be powerful allies in these times, offering grounding, meaning, and a sense of control when everything else feels uncertain. Here are some moments where ritual can support you, and simple practices to help: ⚖️ Before Court or Legal Meetings Nerves often run high before a hearing or mediation.
🏠 When Children Transition Between Homes Exchanges can stir up grief, worry, or loneliness.
💔 On Anniversaries or Emotional Dates The date of a wedding, separation, or other milestone can reopen old wounds.
🌙 When Grief Overwhelms You Unexpectedly Sometimes the sadness hits out of nowhere.
✨ When You Feel Ready to Step Forward There will come a day when you feel a spark of hope again.
📖 A Companion for Every Moment These are just glimpses of what ritual can do. My book, Rebirth Rituals: A Guide to Healing After Separation, offers 30 guided rituals across six phases — Release, Reclaim, Restore, Rise, Renew, and Reflect — to support you in every step of your journey.
May these rituals be companions on your path, helping you reclaim your wholeness and step into your rebirth.
💫 Book a session 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Deck 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Journal 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Prints 💫 Explore the Rebirth Rituals 💫 Follow along on Instagram → @a_divorce_doula With love and deep gratitude to walk alongside you,
💖 Natasha Divorce Doula • Artist • Survivor • Advocate Certified High-Conflict Divorce Coach • Reiki Master • Educator In times of change and transition, we often hear advice like “Build new habits” or “Create healing rituals.” But what’s the difference between a habit and a ritual — and why does it matter in your healing journey? 🌿 Habits Habits are the small, repeated actions that shape our daily lives. They’re often automatic and practical: brushing your teeth, making coffee, checking your phone. Habits build structure, but they don’t always carry meaning. In divorce recovery, new habits might look like journaling every morning, taking a daily walk, or setting boundaries around your phone at night. Habits create consistency and help us feel stable in uncertain times. 🌙 Rituals Rituals, on the other hand, are infused with intention. They can look like habits on the outside — lighting a candle, writing in a journal, taking a walk — but the difference is the meaning you bring to them. Rituals slow us down and invite us to connect with something deeper: our heart, our body, our healing, or the sacred. They create space to release, reclaim, restore, rise, renew, and reflect. Where a habit says “I do this every day,” a ritual says “I choose to make this moment meaningful.” ✨ Why the Difference Matters
🌸 How to Turn a Habit Into a Ritual The difference is intention. Here are three simple ways to transform an ordinary habit into a sacred ritual:
📖 Bringing Rituals Into Your Healing My book, Rebirth Rituals: A Guide to Healing After Separation, offers 30 guided rituals designed to bring meaning and grounding to your everyday life. Each ritual includes step-by-step guidance, journal prompts, and affirmations so you can create moments of transformation in the midst of everyday routines. 📖 How You Can Work With Rebirth Rituals
May these rituals be companions on your path, helping you reclaim your wholeness and step into your rebirth.
💖 Final Thought: Habits keep us steady. Rituals make us whole. When you bring them together, you create a path of healing that is both grounded and sacred. 💫 Book a session 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Deck 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Journal 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Prints 💫 Explore the Rebirth Rituals 💫 Follow along on Instagram → @a_divorce_doula With love and deep gratitude to walk alongside you,
💖 Natasha Divorce Doula • Artist • Survivor • Advocate Certified High-Conflict Divorce Coach • Reiki Master • Educator The Power and Purpose of Ritual Rituals are sacred practices that help us ground, release, reconnect, and transform. Across cultures and generations, people have used ritual to honor life’s transitions, anchor intentions, and reconnect to their inner wisdom. In times of change or grief, ritual offers structure and soul—a way to mark what was, name what is, and step into what’s next. Rituals speak directly to our nervous system. They bypass the intellect and work through sensation, rhythm, and repetition. Unlike the fast-paced, results-oriented culture we live in, ritual reminds us that true transformation is slow, seasonal, and sacred. One ritual done once may bring clarity—but true integration comes with devotion over time. Our nervous systems need repetition to believe we are safe, loved, or free. When and How to Use Rituals Repetition is the Medicine In a world obsessed with quick fixes, ritual invites us into deep time. Change is not instant. Healing is not linear. You cannot convince your body to let go of shame, grief, or fear in 30 minutes. But you can gently coax it toward safety, truth, and power through repeated, intentional acts of care. Here are some recommended rhythms for your rituals:
✨ Begin Your Own Ritual Practice My new book, Rebirth Rituals: A Guide to Healing After Separation, includes 30 guided rituals to support you through release, reclamation, restoration, rising, renewal, and reflection. Each practice comes with step-by-step guidance, supply suggestions, and journal prompts to help you ground, transform, and rise. 📖 How You Can Work With Rebirth Rituals
May these rituals be companions on your path, helping you reclaim your wholeness and step into your rebirth.
💫 Book a session 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Deck 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Journal 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Prints 💫 Explore the Rebirth Rituals 💫 Follow along on Instagram → @a_divorce_doula With love and deep gratitude to walk alongside you, 💖 Natasha Divorce Doula • Artist • Survivor • Advocate Certified High-Conflict Divorce Coach • Reiki Master • Educator Divorce and separation are not just legal processes — they are initiations. They ask us to release the old, reclaim ourselves, and step into a new life. Rituals provide grounding during these times of upheaval. They give us a way to mark endings, create meaning, and invite renewal. Here are six ways ritual supports your healing: 1. Release 🌑 Ritual helps you let go of what no longer serves you — whether that’s pain, resentment, or the story you’ve carried too long. Through intentional release, you create space for something new to emerge.  2. Reclaim 🔥 Ritual is a powerful way to call your energy back to yourself. Lighting a candle, speaking your truth, or creating a circle of protection reminds you of your voice, your worth, and your power.  3. Restore 🌿 Healing after separation often requires soothing the nervous system. Ritual invites calm through breath, touch, and grounding practices. Even a simple ritual can restore balance and remind your body it is safe.  4. Rise 🌄 Every ending is also a beginning. Ritual gives you courage to rise into your next chapter with clarity. It affirms your resilience and calls forth the part of you that is ready to step forward.  5. Renew 🌸 Ritual invites joy, vision, and possibility back into your life. When you create a practice of renewal, you remind yourself that beauty and hope are not gone — they are waiting to be welcomed.  6. Reflect 🌕 Rituals provide space to look back, honor your journey, and recognize your growth. They remind you that healing is not linear — and that every step along the way deserves to be witnessed.  ✨ Begin Your Own Ritual Practice My new book, Rebirth Rituals: A Guide to Healing After Separation, includes 30 guided rituals to support you through release, reclamation, restoration, rising, renewal, and reflection. Each practice comes with step-by-step guidance, supply suggestions, and journal prompts to help you ground, transform, and rise. 📖 How You Can Work With Rebirth Rituals
May these rituals be companions on your path, helping you reclaim your wholeness and step into your rebirth.
💫 Book a session 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Deck 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Journal 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Prints 💫 Explore the Rebirth Rituals 💫 Follow along on Instagram → @a_divorce_doula With love and deep gratitude to walk alongside you,
💖 Natasha Divorce Doula • Artist • Survivor • Advocate Certified High-Conflict Divorce Coach • Reiki Master • Educator I am excited to finally share something that has been years in the making: Rebirth Rituals — my newest offering, born from my own healing journey and my work as a Divorce Doula. Divorce and separation can leave us feeling disoriented, raw, and unsure of how to begin again. Yet, within every ending lies an invitation: to release, to reclaim, to restore, to rise, to renew, and to reflect. Rebirth Rituals was created as a companion to walk with you through that process — one intentional practice at a time. ✨ Inside, you’ll find 30 guided rituals designed to help you: Each ritual includes step-by-step guidance, recommended supplies, and journal prompts — accessible practices that meet you exactly where you are. Whether you need a moment of grounding, a ceremony of release, or a ritual of renewal, this book is here to support your rebirth. 📖 How You Can Work With Rebirth Rituals
This offering is deeply personal to me. Every ritual carries the wisdom of what I’ve lived through — heartbreak, post-separation abuse, the search for grounding, and the courage to rise again. It is also infused with the compassion and strength I now share with others on their path of healing. If you or someone you love is navigating the ashes of separation, may these rituals be a steady companion, guiding you back to your wholeness and your light. 💫 Book a session 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Deck 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Journal 💫 Follow along on Instagram → @a_divorce_doula With love and deep gratitude to walk alongside you,
💖 Natasha Divorce Doula • Artist • Survivor • Advocate Certified High-Conflict Divorce Coach • Reiki Master • Educator This blog post is part II of the Drama Triangle. Read part I here. The Empowerment Dynamic & How to Reclaim Your Role In the wake of abuse—especially when you’ve been cast as the villain—it can feel like you’re trapped in a rigged game. The rules make no sense. The stories aren’t true. The people who “help” aren’t helping. Welcome to the Drama Triangle. But this isn’t where your story ends. There’s a way out. And not just out—but into a new dynamic that is grounded, conscious, and empowered. It’s called The Empowerment Dynamic—a model created by David Emerald as a healing alternative to the Drama Triangle. Where the Drama Triangle keeps you trapped in fear, blame, and helplessness, the Empowerment Dynamic invites you into clarity, courage, and choice.   🌀 From Victim → Creator The victim feels powerless. But the creator reclaims their agency. Instead of “Why is this happening to me?” → “What is my next wise step?” Even if you’ve been deeply wronged, you get to decide how you move forward. You get to create safety, meaning, beauty—even in the ashes. 🌿 Tools that support this shift:
🌀 From Villain → Challenger This is big. We’ve been taught that challenging someone means you’re being mean, angry, or judgmental. But the challenger is actually the one who speaks the truth, names what’s not working, and says: “There is another way.” This is the role many survivors end up in--not because we’re cruel, but because we disrupt dysfunction. We shine light where others wanted silence. And yes, this role may cost you friends, comfort, or appearances. But it can also set you free. 🔥 Tools that support this shift:
🌀 From Rescuer → Coach The rescuer wants to help—but often out of guilt, control, or a need to feel useful. The coach, on the other hand, trusts others to be capable of their own growth. They offer support without taking over. “I believe in you. I’ll walk with you, but I won’t carry you.” This is how I now support others—not as a fixer, but as a guide. 💖 Tools that support this shift:
🕊️ Living Outside the Triangle The Empowerment Dynamic is not just a model—it’s a practice. Especially if you’ve spent years in a high-conflict relationship or survival mode, it can feel unfamiliar at first. But with gentle awareness and steady tools, you begin to shift. You stop reacting. You start responding. You stop chasing validation. You start rooting in your own wisdom. 💫 What This Looks Like in Real Life
. That’s okay. The goal is not perfection. The goal is awareness—and returning to the path again and again. 🔮 How I Can Support You in the Shift Everything I offer—from my coaching to the Rebirth Oracle Deck, from the rituals to the journal—is designed to help you move from survival to creation. From fear to sovereignty. From roles to wholeness. If you're ready to:
🌱 Ready to Step Into Your Creator Role? ✨ Start with one of my favorite journal prompts: “Where in my life am I ready to choose differently?” ✨ Or draw a card from the Rebirth Oracle Deck and ask: “What part of me is ready to rise?” You are not a role. You are not the lies they told. You are a creator. A challenger. A guide. You are your own beginning again. 💫 Book a session 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Deck 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Journal 💫 Follow along on Instagram → @a_divorce_doula
With love and deep gratitude to walk alongside you, 💖 Natasha Divorce Doula • Artist • Survivor • Advocate Certified High-Conflict Divorce Coach • Reiki Master • Educator Why People Believe the Abuser—and How to Reclaim Your Truth When a relationship ends--especially an abusive one—the story told afterward can become a battleground. You may have fought hard to break free. You may have escaped emotional, psychological, physical, or financial abuse. But suddenly, you're cast as the villain in someone else’s story. The person who harmed you becomes the “poor me.” And the people you once trusted—friends, in-laws, community members—start turning away, or worse, turning against you. This is one of the most painful dynamics of post-separation abuse. And it’s exactly what the Drama Triangle explains.  🔺 What Is the Drama Triangle? The Drama Triangle, developed by psychologist Stephen Karpman, is a model for dysfunctional social interaction—especially in conflict. There are three roles in this triangle, and many people cycle through them unconsciously: 1. Victim – “Poor me.” This role sees the self as helpless, powerless, or at the mercy of others. Victims often feel overwhelmed, burdened, or unfairly treated. While there are real victims of abuse, in this model, the role of victim is about refusing responsibility and seeking saviors. “It’s not my fault. I can’t help it. This is happening to me.” 2. Villain (Persecutor) – “It’s all your fault.” The villain (sometimes called the persecutor) points fingers. They criticize, judge, or control. Their energy can be harsh, defensive, or righteous. Sometimes they blame others to avoid their own feelings of shame or powerlessness. “You ruined everything. You’re the problem. I’m only reacting to you.” 3. Rescuer – “Let me fix it for you.” The rescuer rushes in to help, often uninvited. This role believes others need saving—and they’re the one to do it. It may look kind, but it’s a covert way to avoid their own discomfort, feel important, or maintain control. “You poor thing. I’ll help. They’re awful. Let me fix it.” 💥 How the Abuser Flips the Script After separation, abusers often claim the victim role. They say: “They left me.” “I was emotionally abused.” “I’m being alienated.” They spin a compelling story of pain, betrayal, or injustice. They may even use language they picked up in therapy, online spaces, or court filings—twisting the tools of healing into weapons of manipulation. Suddenly, the true victim—the one who endured abuse—is painted as the villain. And everyone watching? Friends, coworkers, even in-laws—they become rescuers. They offer support, comfort, and validation to the person who seems most hurt or most convincing. They never ask you for your side. They just… disappear. 😔 The Pain of Being Cast as the Villain This kind of betrayal runs deep. It's not just the loss of a romantic relationship—it’s the loss of:
You may wonder: How could they believe him? Why didn’t they ask me what was real? Why am I the one paying for his lies? The answer isn’t justice. It’s psychology. People step into the Drama Triangle without even knowing they’re doing it. And the abuser counts on that. They manipulate roles to protect themselves and keep power over the narrative. 🧠 Why the Rescuer Role Is So Seductive Being a rescuer feels good. It feels righteous, helpful, empowering. Most people don’t want to be in conflict—they want to do the “right thing.” So when someone tells them, “Look what she did to me,” and presents as wounded or fragile, they rush to support. It gives them purpose. It gives them relief. But that instinct can do harm. Because in supporting a false victim, they unintentionally:
😣 It’s Not Just Heartbreaking—It’s Re-Traumatizing When people you love turn away—or worse, speak against you—it echoes the trauma of the relationship itself. You may feel isolated. Paranoid. Grief-stricken. You may question your own truth, again. And all of it is by design. Smear campaigns are a form of post-separation abuse. They’re not random. They’re strategic. They’re about control, reputation, and power. 🕯️ What You Can Do (and What You Don’t Have To) You do not have to:
What you can do is reclaim your voice. Restore your sense of self. And walk away from the triangle—altogether. 💖 How I Can Help You Reclaim Your Truth This is why I became a Divorce Doula. Because I lived this. And I know how lonely, confusing, and dehumanizing it can feel. I support people navigating high-conflict divorce, post-separation abuse, and emotional recovery through: 🌿 1:1 Coaching – Grounded, soul-centered support tailored to your experience 🔮 Rituals and Healing Tools – Practical and spiritual practices to process grief and reclaim power 🃏 The Rebirth Oracle Deck & Journal – For daily grounding, clarity, and self-reflection 📚 Courses and Resources – Focused guidance to walk you out of the fog and into your next chapter I’m not here to rescue you. I’m here to walk beside you—out of the ashes and into your rebirth. 💬 You’re Not Alone If you’ve been cast as the villain, if friends turned their backs without asking what really happened, if you’ve been silenced by shame or lies-- You are not alone. Your story matters. And there are people who will hear it. Who will believe you. And who are healing right alongside you. If you want to talk, I’m here. If you want to rise, I’m ready to walk with you. 💫 Book a session 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Deck 💫 Explore the Rebirth Oracle Journal 💫 Follow along on Instagram → @a_divorce_doula
With love and deep gratitude to walk alongside you, 💖 Natasha Divorce Doula • Artist • Survivor • Advocate Certified High-Conflict Divorce Coach • Reiki Master • Educator |
Natasha Bacca is a Divorce Doula and certified high-conflict divorce coach. Archives
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